morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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