hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i dont even know how to be here
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize