just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
