She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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