what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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