Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
