Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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