Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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