would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
