my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
