Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
