how can u be prego again
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
