That's intense
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
