I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
