im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
