I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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