Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
