Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
