im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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