no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
