that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
