I wanna bring you to show and tell
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
