whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
