I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
