i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
