OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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