it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
