my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
