Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
