Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize