there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize