I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
