Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
