omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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