Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
