Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
