There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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