laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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