Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
