capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
