you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
