i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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