I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
