Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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