half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
