I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
