Can Purell be used as lube?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
