I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
