2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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