Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize