And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
