thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
