Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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