She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
