We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
