# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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