she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
