I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
