I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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