dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize