The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let's get the cat blown out
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
