You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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