the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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