Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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