the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
