Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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