It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
