This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
