I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Someone signed my nipple.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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