You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
