Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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