Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
