my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
