It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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