Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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