I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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