Only a mothe r could love this liver
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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