im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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