There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
