Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
