I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
