After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
