I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
